you told me that chest hair reminds you of your father, going into his room when you were scared and listening to his heart beat. i’ve never been afraid of my own but lately it’s all i can think about, how it clicks instead of thumps on nights that i miss you too much. suddenly i remember the smell of the ocean and i’m brought back to an unspoken understanding i had with the universe. i’ll stop believing in you when you stop being real.
sleepy monster, rest your head on my stomach
and carry these thoughts
well into adulthood.